Of all the many hucksters active in soon-to-be-worth-$22-billion CBD space, Oliveda International might take the CBD-infused cake.
In announcing the company’s acquisition of Ladope Inc., “which makes CBD frequencies and energy available worldwide through a globally unique CBD technology delivered via app to strengthen additionally the effects of CBD products in cosmetics or food supplements,” Oliveda founder Thomas Lommel ran down a list of former business ventures in which he lacked expertise (from olive trees to cosmetics) before unveiling his latest, most head-scratching project yet:
“As early as October 2019, we will be able to provide CBD frequencies across borders via app to anyone who wants it, free of charge, and also to increase the effect of CBD products such as cosmetics or supplements,” he said.
Suspicions that the CBD industry has jumped the shark have been brewing for some time — which is perhaps unsurprising, given the proliferation of bizarre products like CBD-infused bed sheets or Bluetooth-enabled vape pen sex toys, along with the public admission of prominent executives that CBD works better as a marketing tool than as an active ingredient in many products. But at the risk of setting an extremely low bar, at least these underwhelming CBD products have been actual products up until this point: tangible things you could see and touch and, if necessary, throw in the trash.
Now, it appears we have moved past the physical realm, and into the age of “peak CBD.”
Though Oliveda’s press release makes no mention of specifics (ex. price, availability, etc.), a similar product is also available from Subtle Energy Sciences. Known as Digital CBD, it’s available at a one-time price of $97. According to the product’s website, “unlike physical CBD, you only need to purchase Digital CBD once in order to benefit from it for the rest of your life … we’re talking about an incredible value here.”
But the question remains: What exactly is it? Unlike Oliveda, Subtle Energy Sciences does give an explanation of sorts:
“The ‘wave-particle duality principle’ in quantum physics basically says that energy and matter have both particle-like and wave-like properties. And while physical CBD can be viewed as the ‘particle’ version of CBD, Digital CBD can be seen as the ‘wave’ version of CBD. This is because Digital CBD is produced by extracting the informational, wave-like properties of CBD, amplifying these properties many times, and encoding them into digital media.”
“Digital CBD quite literally transforms your electronic devices into futuristic vibrational healing tools.”
While that might sound (slightly) more convincing than Oliveda’s offering, there’s only one problem — it’s a scam.
Digital CBD appears to be an update on the old essential oils frequency scam. The idea behind this scheme was two-fold: First, essential oils supposedly contain a healthy frequency, which will raise the frequency of the human body above the bad, disease-prone range; and second, you needed expensive equipment to measure this frequency.
While the essential oils gambit made little sense, as they (and CBD) have unpredictable and wide-ranging vibrational frequencies, the digital CBD swindle is harder to disprove. This is because Subtle Energy Sciences doesn’t promise any specific effect, only that you’ll be able to “effortlessly reap the health benefits of CBD oil” with their app.
If vibrational enthusiasts still aren’t dissuaded, it may be time to pull out Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. Matter can be transformed into energy, but the process requires a degree of “annihilation” — the kind that takes place in a nuclear reaction.
Of course, there is a simpler way to turn CBD’s matter into energy, and a highly accessible one at that: Simply burn it.